


Darkshines

by abraxaes



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Drunk!Kylo, F/M, Force Bond, Kinda Icky Kinda Sexual, Needy Big Boy, Rey Is Not Having It, Sexual Tension, tumblr drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-07 19:49:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12848301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abraxaes/pseuds/abraxaes
Summary: Kylo Ren, recently defected, drank too much Corellian wine because the scavenger had been ignoring him ever since she brought him back.





	Darkshines

He wants to scream until his throat rips open. He is running, adrenaline and alcohol burning through his muscles like battery acid, the force a dark and jagged thing around him.

Kylo Ren drank too much Corellian wine. He gorged himself on it so much his stomach swelled and his teeth got stained. Now they look like pomegranate seeds, red blooming on the edges. He imagines it is his blood trickling from his mouth instead. And this is not his hunger.

The bond, faint and quiet, pulses once and he whines, bares his canines, piercing tips like the ones from starving wolves upon raw flesh that drips. He whines because the wine did nothing to satiate his hunger. He knew it wouldn’t. But he had been drawn to it like a moth to a flame when his self-destructive nature had rippled through his backbone. And he had been parched, ravenous, and it had hurt so much to swallow, to breathe, but there was a void inside his belly, deep within his marrow. _Because she shut him off._

He’s suffocating, heart pounding. Deep down, he knows he’s bare. And he fucking hates it and loves it all at once. He’s out of control, his force signature the vicious hurricane it’s always been, and an intoxicated thrill passes over him _because he cannot focus hard enough to tame it._

His back is drenched in sweat, and his thick muscles are starting to ache, but his legs keep pumping, powerful strides propelling him forward despite the haze wrapped around his temple, and he knows he must look deranged. A phantom voice from long ago whispers inside of him, _You’re a monster._

The force keeps some semblance of clarity within him, and it reminds him of the lucid nightmares that tend to fill his nights. He has a tight, brutal hold on the bond, _because she slipped and it opened like a small cut before his eyes and he could do nothing else but to grip it as hard as he could so she wouldn’t smother it_ , and it’s so deafening he cannot truly comprehend the violence that wants to crawl out of his lungs. His hunger grows, and he runs faster, feeling one of his wounds _rip rip rip_ on the left side of his torso.

It makes him hiss.

The force swells, black as his pupil, black as his hunger. And what is it?

It’s her. It’s always been her. He has always been dragged back to _her_.

This time he feels the laceration tear, his ribs blazing.

His fractured mind and body shake with the exertion, but he finally reaches the crescent throb of the bond, there, in front of him, her quarters. He stops, and he’s breathing so hard he is sure his lungs are about to explode. His mouth waters, his stomach lurches, and before he knows it, he is vomiting fire.

Disgust and shame reverberate through his muscles, and he wants to hit himself, claw at his skin, fingers clenching and unclenching as he reaches for the lightsaber he knows is not there, but the phantom need is automatic, like breathing. His legs tremble, boots caked in mud.

The bond opens fully with violence, sharp and sudden, and he feels fear, then worry, then confusion and then _rage_ , until it slams shut again.

_Engulf me_ , he wants to beg, eyes burning. To her.

He feels so sick. At this point, he imagines someone would have already collapsed, but he’s not _someone._

He’s Kylo Ren.

And he’s hungry, so hungry, the type of hunger that gives an echo to those moments where he has been completely full. Because he has, he has been full for once, for seconds, when she stood by his body and she opened their link to keep him from dying.

Everything is dark, and nothing is light.

And then she comes out.

And he cannot help but moan. Because her feet are bare, _feed me_ , arms without her wrappings smudged with oil, _feed me_ , her hair loose and messy, _feed me_ , steam coming out of her mouth, _feed me_. She’s burning and he is frozen. Her eyes look languid. Fuck, he woke her up. Blood rushes to his hips and it now makes sense why she let him in. He wants to laugh, loud and feral.

“What are you doing here?” she asks, and her voice is thick with sleep, but controlled, jaw clenched.

He wants to answer but then he notices her torso and what the cold is causing underneath.

The pleasure he feels is blinding and hot.

_What do you want to hear? That I’m here because I’m hungry? So, so hungry. I’m here because of you, for you_ , he thinks, and he still has that hold on the sliver of their bond and he lets his thoughts consume it.

He starts walking, with thunder behind his back and fingers curved like talons, his black robes billowing around him like a ghoul.

“Wait,” she tells him. She stays where she is, and he feels the heat of her anger. “Wait.”

But then she can _see_ it, the haze, the alcohol, and the hunger, his hunger, my hunger, _I am dying of hunger_. A quiet gasp escapes from her lips as realization hits her and he needs that sound inside his mouth. One of the many things he needs inside his mouth.

Kylo Ren is about to reach her, a thick growl bubbling behind his ribs, when he feels the raw and warm power of her force signature settling around his limbs like lead. The scavenger freezes him in place.

A part of him wails, and wants to bend to her will, wants her to put him on his knees. The other part snaps and shakes like an enraged animal that has just been caged. But he is a Mephistophelean force of nature, and his power is unrestrained and he struggles against hers until his open wound burns and sweat drips from his black hair, until he manages to give one step toward her and she, wide eyed, slams her open hand onto his chest and keeps it there.

The pressure she is applying hurts and he craves it. He gives another powerful step forward, her arm bending, until he is looking down at her and he has to bend his legs slightly in order to wrap his arms around her waist. He has her crushed against him, her feet lifting from the ground. Her heat seeps beneath his thick layers of robes.

In his delirious state, he notices a small ache burning inside his belly that is not coming from him.

Kylo Ren seeks her mouth, but she hisses in anger and bares her teeth at him. Her hands find the back of his head and they tangle themselves into his hair, and she pulls _hard_ but it’s a bad idea, such a bad idea, because his head falls back willingly, exposing thick cords of muscles and tendons, and he moans, loud and hot. He holds onto her like a man lost deep at sea would to a rock.

“Calm down,” she bites back. He feels soothing waves of light caress his skin and his eyes start burning. But it lasts seconds, and fury bursts inside of him once more, and he doesn’t speak (he can’t speak because he thinks that if he does, she will hear a monster and he wants to let it run) but he makes sure she hears him loud and clear, _I can’t, I can’t, I can’t do it, why can’t you understand that I can’t do it because I need this, I need you_.

His raging thoughts sharply grow quieter, and it leaves him reeling. Her fingers loosen, and he lets his head drop to the crook of her neck, his body sagging, suddenly so exhausted, so drained, but she’s there and she isn’t pulling him away. Her hands slither down his thick vest until they are wrapped around his broad back.

A few seconds pass, but then she opens it, the bond, leaves it wide open, and Kylo Ren settles inside of it as if it had always been his second skin and then, just like that, the hunger is gone.

**Author's Note:**

> this came to me in a fever-fuelled dream. i am too fascinated by the connection that these two might have so i thought it'd be interesting to explore the need to feel that bond through the perspective of a very very drunk kylo. while i was writing this i kept doubting whether kylo would get plastered or not but then i just kept thinking how self-destructive he can get and i was like...yeah. thanks for reading.  
> \--  
> lightshears.tumblr.com


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